Reflections of my last day at work sent to a friend of mine.
Last Friday was my last day.
Looking back, there was one particular question that stood out from my conversations throughout my internship and that was the question that you asked in the lift about how I felt about the internship. My response was “It was not bad”. But I don’t think it truly properly explained my feelings at that moment. I should be more precise about it now in writing in hopes that I can be more precise about how I feel so as to do justice in giving a proper response.
A person’s resolve is weak. In part, the reason I replied “not bad” was because it is dangerous to call this place good. We like to be comfortable and to settle when we find a place warm, intimate. A place that makes it easy to fall into a comfortable pace of life.
My resolve is weak. Our workplace feels pleasant to me. There is a part of me that wishes that this is what “good” really is and I should find a way to come back. To come back to a place that has coffee mornings and nice sunset afternoons. To come back to a place physically close to home, but culturally a distance away. To come back to a sense of familiar unfamiliarity with the people you meet and the work you do.
But I don’t think I really know what good is as my understanding of the world is shallow and fragile. If I believe this place is good my heart will yearn to settle. I’ll end up chasing the shadow of our workplace at every turn and not be able to see better things.
However, the only thing that I can really say is that this place is not bad.